Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Fall into Change


Well It's fall, all the leaves are changing and what better season than Autumn to bring forth some MAJOR changes in my life!

Not only am I in an incredible new relationship with a wonderful Christian man,
Loving my job,
Stepped into a new role leading my small group at the church,
Running my first 5km and did a 25km charity bike ride,
but I am also in search of a new home for December!

Now as overwhelming as that may seem at times, I love when I live my life with purpose instead of sitting at home with nothing to do but sleep.

I was recently in bed with a cold and was SO BORED that I went to my parents house and cleaned their kitchen.... I felt better about myself.

My faith has not been as strong as in the past... but it is definitely being challenged day to day!

I have been asking God for wisdom lately about my living situation and I truly felt He gave me guidance in which I am very excited for.

As much as we feel we don't measure up, that things aren't going to work out, that we arn't enough... from what I've learned, God never fails me. He has always gotten me through my circumstances regardless of my lack of faith in Him.

I know I am where I am today because of God's saving grace.

Now sometimes we see things as setbacks or step backs... but what God is trying to reveal to me, is that HE can use these to fulfill bigger purposes.

In Luke 5, when Jesus tells Simon to go back into the water to fish, Simon basically says "we've been fishing all night and haven't caught a thing!..... but.... if you say so, I will trust you, and do this again".

This is what I feel is happening in my life right now. "BUT GOD i've been around this tree once before!... but if you say to go back.... I will trust you and do this again"

That being said, I am going to be moving home for  a short amount of time, leaving the security of living on my own and being on my own watch and entering into a very different of frustration, of anger, of insecurity....  But one where I know God will be with me.

I want to fight this choice will all my might, because I've fished before and no luck... But if He is asking me to go again... I am willing to be obedient... to trust.... and to go again just as Simon did in Luke 5.

oh by the way... they caught so many fish their nets began to tear!

And Jesus said to them "Don't be afraid, from now on you'll be fishers of men"

Thank you Father that you have placed me in a position of influence.
That you love me enough to grant responsibilities to me in this life.
forgive me for not seeing or being in tune with your will, but I pray that I am granted wisdom and see your hand in my circumstances, either tough or good. Thank you Jesus for sacrificing for me, that I can choose to follow you and live a life of abundant joy, for I am not defined by my circumstances or material things, but instead defined by who I am in your eyes.