Sunday, July 20, 2014

Run the Race

I recently ran a 5km race and beat my personal best time by 4 minutes! Half of it was because it was pretty flat ground, but a really cool thing happened half way through the race. Whenever I do my races, I put on Songza and play the "Christian Hits" playlist for some inspiring up-beat tunes. It happened when I ran the Around the Bay, and it happened again this time as well...
The PERFECT song came on when I wanted to give up, when I wanted to just stop and walk.
The song this time was about not stopping even though you feel like giving up, run the race and don't stop, it's not over yet. 

Something along those lines.

It was the perfect motivation and God "push" I needed to motivate me to keep going... pushing past the pain and into doing what I never knew my body was capable of doing.

But I realized. The motivation I was given from that song was just that... motivation. It didn't get rid of the pain, it didn't pick me up and move me further along without effort, it actually made me put in even MORE effort, more pain... but it got me through. It made me feel like someone was with me, cheering me on, wanting me to succeed.

There are situations, seasons, circumstances in our lives that are painful. God may not take the pain away, or take you out of that uncomfortable situation... but He is there to keep you motivated to move forward. 

I am in a season right now that can get pretty lonely. 
I expected this may be the case moving into an apartment by myself and switching churches, my friends are getting married and I'm single... soooo that all adding up - weekends may consist of me sitting in my yoga pants watching Netflix with a jar of Nutella.... Don't judge.

This weekend was kind of tough.
But what I know, is what I knew in that race. That this pain is temporary. That this is just a season. That this current circumstance means im on the way to something better. 

Breakthrough is coming, but I might need to endure a little pain before I get there.

The motivation? That I trust the one who has created the path I am running. There may be more uphill climbs than other peoples journey right now, but that only means stronger muscles in the end. 

I'm okay with being strong.

And when I feel weak, its okay... because His word says that when I am weak, that is when His strength is made perfect.
I can lean on Him in the hard seasons, in the uphill climb, when I can't breathe - He will get me through.

I don't know what the future has for me, but I know it's going to be worth it whatever is it, or whoever it will be with. I trust the one that holds my future in His hand... and I trust his timing.

For right now, I will embrace the "now". Which means hard work, pushing through, trusting, leaning on Him, and getting out of my comfort zone and praying... a lot.

I'm okay with that.

xo sc

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Be Careful What You Pray For

It's funny how meeting new people brings up a list of insecurities you didn't know you had... until that moment. A friend once told me that relationships are like holding a giant mirror to your face. You can't help but notice your flaws and insecurities.

I recently did a dumb thing...

I hate weekends. It means being home alone and doing everything in my power to stay busy and occupied so I don't get stuck in my own head for too long. Being disconnected from my church, not in a relationship, and living on my own - things can seem lonely.

I was walking through the door and reflecting on how bored I have been socially. So... I simply asked God.
I said "I don't need a relationship. I'm okay to wait for that. I just want to go on a date. Just have someone take me out for coffee, meet someone new. Thats all"

See.... it was dumb because I know the power of prayer. I know He listens.
... and now I am going out for coffee this morning with a new friend...
I had gone running down to the bridge pier last week and met a nice guy. We walked back the same way and it was just easy to talk. So we are meeting up again.

It doesn't surprise me... Because God has shown me in other ways that He hears me. He hears my desperate pleas, my prayers, even when I think I'm just talking to a wall. And something so simple as this, he is using to show me that He is still there... even when I don't think He is.

And I feel that way a lot.

I don't think this meeting for coffee will turn into anything. Actually I'm almost positive it won't. It was that "date" I had prayed for in that moment of boredom. BUT I'm suddenly feeling a flood of insecurities on my part. What do I wear? What do I say? What do I eat? What if it's awkward? When do I leave?

I am realizing I'm okay with my comfortable weekends.........

Anyway... Here goes nothing.