Faith Fuel & Safety Nets

by - 9:12 PM

Lately my pink mac laptop has become my best friend.

Working in social media, writing papers and studying for my Masters doesn't allow a lot of 
time for connection.

When I chose to go back to school, I knew I had to sacrifice something. 

What I didn't expect is how it would effect my faith.

I went from leading a bible study at my church with an incredible group of girls, to not being able to even attend the bible study. Due to workload and schedule conflicts, skyping in wasn't even an option anymore. 

At first, I didn't notice a difference. What I wasn't aware of is that my safety net and my accountability was removed, which left a great opportunity for the enemy to sneak in and slowly start to skew my thinking.

It's like quick sand. You don't realize how deep you are until you try to get out of it.

My anxiety has proven to be stronger lately. It overtakes my thinking and convinces me that I am not strong enough, not rich enough, not good enough. It's the strongest in the mornings when I'm walking into work and I'm flooded with all my insecurities - financially, relationally, professionally, you name it. 

I didn't realize how surrounding myself with Christian women who were facing similar struggles and successes was offering me perspective week to week.

I didn't realize how having a simple conversation every Wednesday about the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus was feeding into my heart "faith fuel" to face difficult situations with confidence.

I didn't realize how doing Church wasn't just walking into that building on Sunday, but maintaining a connection throughout the week with my eFamily (Attending Elevation Church, we have eGroups so I refer to my church family as my eFamily. Fitting.

Someone once explained to me that having family that prays for you, is like a safety net which forms under you. It doesn't stop you from experiencing the fall, but it softens the landing so you can get back up quicker.

My Church is my spiritual family and I rely on them for my safety net. When I couldn't attend bible study, that safety net was removed and when I fell, I fell hard.

I may not have people building that safety net of prayer for me every week anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't build it myself.

You see, the biggest part of this was that I wasn't taking my faith into my own hands. 

I thought my faith would stay afloat through the changes but I was mistaken. 

Pursuing my Masters would mean I would have to fight for time with God, fight to keep focus on him, and fight to pray when I didn't feel like praying.

As January hit, it was a moment of reflection and fresh starts.

I knew exactly what I needed to do - create a new routine that would allow me time with Him first.

My friend lent me "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. This devotional, along with reading one Psalm a day and keeping a daily prayer journal, has ensured I am spending time in God's word and refueling my faith.

Today's devotional was powerful and speaks to everything I've been facing:

"Seek my face more and more. You are really just beginning your journey of intimacy with Me. It is not an easy road, but it is a delightful and privileged way: a treasure hunt. I am the Treasure, and the Glory of My Presence glistens and shimmers along the way. Hardships are part of the journey too. I mete them out ever so carefully, in just the right dosage, with a tenderness you can hardly imagine. Do not recoil from afflictions, since they are among My most favoured gifts. Trust Me and don't be afraid, for I am your strength and Song"

Maintaining a relationship with Christ may be able to stay afloat through routine, but purpose prevails. When the routine falls through, it's time to refocus, prioritize and actively seek Him above all the noise of this world.

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